By Summaiya Hassan
Death is a huge part of life. One ends the other.
Although, it is death that gives you a jolt like nothing else. It has the power to make you stop everything. It plays
back your fondest memories with that person. It makes you rethink each and
every thing. Even things that are not related. Like life. It
makes you take a breather, re-evaluate your choices and decisions. It makes you
take a step back, move out of the scene and see the whole film from a distance.
No matter what the relationship is, it is the heart that dictates
what you feel towards people. When people ask me who passed away, and I say my
khala’s mother-in-law, it feels unreal to the extent of sounding cruel. Because
she was much closer to us than that. Not only to us, but to many I imagine. And
this was one of her greatest gifts.
When I heard the news of Naggu Nani passing away I couldn’t believe
it, even though she was unwell for a long time but I kept hoping she would be
fine soon. She was in so much pain since so long. I could completely understand
what the family was going through since the past months, because we had similar
trips to the emergency with dada. A part of me wanted to cry so badly but with people
who understood my pain. I was stuck at my place, couldn’t go to meet Abbas mamu
and Alyzeh. What kept repeating heartlessly in my mind was that they are alone here,
and 1/3rd of their heart wasn’t here with them. I imagined Alyzeh as
a baby crawling into the room, lighting up her parent’s and grand-mother’s
faces. This light was so incredibly obvious that I cannot imagine anyone to be
ignorant of it. Also Naggu nani was like 1/3rd parent for Alyzeh.
Then I realized I’m in a separate country, away from
everyone who might have the slightest idea of the sort of relationship that we
had with naggu nani. Our childhood flashed in front of my eyes. When after the
robbery at our house my father and Abbas mamu decided that us girls would stay
at Ekhala’s house for sometime. After my father’s death, Abbas mamu ,while
dropping me and my sister to school, told me if anyone bullies you just give me
a name and I will fix him for you. When we would go to Ekhala’s house we would
be treated like princesses. We could call the kitchen and tell them 2 plates of
fries please. We would be served in the bedroom. When Sabika was born, they took her as Alyzeh's twin. Sabika would get everything Alyzeh would get. I cannot begin to imagine what she's going through. These things might seem
materialistic to the onlookers but to us 10 year olds, these were small things that
made up our image of what the grandest hearts looked like.
I distinctly remember Naggu nani loved imli. She used to ask
me to get imli sweets for her. She loved reading and was an encyclopaedia
herself. But her thirst for learning was endless. She perpetually had a book on
her nightstand. She had word games in the bathroom drawer. It is quite
difficult to explain our relationship to her but I still want to try while
tearing up at every word. She was like a queen. Extremely generous, very caring
towards the whole world. A queen who would feel sorry for every bad thing happening
to anyone in the world, and she would try to help everyone at the same
time. If she got to know someone in need, she would offer help immediately. But
at the same time she wasn’t untouchable, instead she was someone we could speak
with easily, in fact, she was one of
those who loved to converse with young
blood.
If I am wronged by someone, I used to say Allah will take
care of them for me on the day of Qayamat. Because in Islam one cannot be off
the hook till they are forgiven by the person who they hurt. (Me being
extremely hot-headed) When naggu nani heard this she was shocked. She said you
mean on that day when everyone will be begging for mercy, running around
thirsty and be completely lost, you want them to be at your mercy too? You
should forgive everyone in this world, because on the day of qayamat everyone is
already going to be overwhelmed and devastated. They will be helpless and you
will be one of the people because of whom they are punished severely. If you don’t
forgive fellow humans then you are quite unmerciful. These arn’t her exact
words but I hope I caught the essence of them anyway. No matter how much
someone has wronged you, she wanted you to have space in your heart to let them
go. Don’t hold grudges.
I have never seen a grand-mother and grand-daughter as close
as Alyzeh and Naggu Nani. It breaks me completely when I remember that when
Abbas mamu and family shifted to Dubai, Naggu nani and Alyzeh would keep their
skype video on to make it seem like they were still together. They wouldn’t be
talking, but they would just keep it on. This was because when Alyzeh was in
Karachi she used to do her homework on Naggu Nani’s bed, while Naggu nani watched
her dramas. Even the way to Alyzeh’s room was through Naggu Nani’s. In a way
she was the guardian before her grand-daughter’s gates.
Yesterday when I finally went to see Abbas mamu and Alyzeh,
it took me quite some time to collect myself on their front door. I couldn’t bring
myself to enter. When I did finally enter I wasn’t myself and definitely not
collected. In fact, I was completely out of control. I went up to see Alyzeh
who was so much in control of herself that I couldn’t understand her. Instead
of me consoling her, it was her consoling me. This scenario was even more heart-breaking,
completely shattering, than when I imagined her to be alone, waiting to go to
Karachi to attend the funeral of their beloved Dadi.
I wish naggu nani the best in the next world. I am sure she would
be one of those souls easily floating to heaven. I pray she gets the highest
place in Jannat. 
