Surrendered Wife Empowered Women Workshops

The whole truth – Or at least some of it

Its amazing when I had all these questions, and got the answers after 2 years. 2 years of the mind not knowing who you are is pure torture. I believe in the law of attraction. I asked the world, attracted various people with various answers to myself.

Now that I found the answer, I’m attracting even more people to myself who need my answers. Whatever happens, whatever I know about myself, one thing is certain, I am a spreader. The spreader of news to everyone, the spreader of tabooed topics and I shock people into listening to me. Its hilarious how at a girl’s-night-out-dinner I went on a rampage about marriages and post marriage depression and the women were silent about it.

Everyone wanted more, they said it, I was hyperventilating while telling them because there is so much to tell. Everyone wants to keep their boundaries up high but they want to know the answers themselves. Without asking me their questions how am I supposed to give them their answers? I mean my truth is the result of my questions, for me to give you your truth you need to give me your answers no?

Even to those who don’t need my answers I am meeting them because they need to take me to their friends who need to hear me and my truth.

So. About my truth, I found my truth when I was introduced to someone who is a very good friend now. The story is funny, how she caught my attention by saying the most perfect words. There is a trip, into the desert, where we will be talking about spirituality and how to become our best self. I was hooked.  

Laura Doyle started these workshops for married women, particularly those who are having a tough time. According to Laura if a woman can implement 6 skills in her life, the divorces in the world will go down to zero. These skills are a gateway to knowing yourself, your likes and respecting and working on the skills that help you love your husband and see them in another light.

My friend authenticates these skills by backing them with the Quran and Nahjul Balagah (that’s all we really need, only if we understand)

Women in the western society go through men and men go through so many women trying to find their perfect soul mate. They don’t stay in any marriages or relationships long enough to give it a chance. Their perfect soulmate is in their heads, if they really find a perfect soulmate it will be in a Disney classic or a romance novel, definitely not in real life. If you really do find the perfect guy, it is a miracle and you really should hold on to him. Even people who find perfect husbands have fights, which keep it real. If you have no fights even, this would mean you just married yourself. Since your thoughts are so alike that there is no conflict. Now that’s a weird thought.

I think it all began with industrialization. Women taking on the role of being men, somehow, they don’t see the stupidity in that. How can women be better men than men? They start to make all major decisions, protect the family and provide for them. Who will nurture the environment at home? Maintain the relationship and work towards the marriage? There aren’t men wanting to become better women than women so why are women trying to become better men than men?

If you really care, notice that things would really change for the better if women are cared for, appreciated, adored and validated. All they need is love. A lot of things would be fixed if men were respected, and just that. Respected in every aspect of your married life. They are there to give, and women are there to receive. Just see how your bodies are made and you will realize that. (talking about our sexual organs here) There are some men who this doesn’t apply to though. These are men who are addicted to substance abuse, are physically abusive or are chronically unfaithful.

If there was respect and love in a house, I don’t think these kids will grow up the way they are growing up in western societies. How can you change the way your kids see things if all the kids in the world are seeing are a naked Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball shouting out loud that she came? I mean come on, some sense in the lyrics these days would be appreciated.

So basically what happened is, Laura created a syllabus (which btw is all in the Quran, no one compiled it as nicely I guess) that consists of 6 skills. These 6 skills when implemented will help you be loved, cherished and adored. That's the purpose of the book (First, Kill All The Marriage Counsellors) and Laura's classes. The purpose of the workshop I attended was to grow spiritually. So we dont mind going a few steps ahead and doing the same syllabus. 

To get more information about the Surrender Wives, Empowered Women workshops checkout Laura Doyle.

If anyone starts reading into it and implements it and sees the miracles that happen in their lives just by softer words being spoken, do share them with me. We could all use some miraculous stories. 😊

Review - Rant - 13 Reasons Why

Just stayed up all night watching a serial that my husband was originally watching, called 13 reasons why. A teenager commits suicide and leaves behind 13 tapes which are audio recordings of the 13 reasons why she committed suicide. Throughout the series, her parents are suing the school because they say that she was being bullied in school which led her to commit suicide.

It is an intense drama that shows the implications of bullying, and those of a suicide. Teenagers today have it much worse than we did when we were kids. Specially if you are in a country where religion doesn’t play a major role. It could actually be argued that the internet has made the whole earth into one big country with all the continents as its provinces. The decreasing costs of travelling has turned us into one big community. A community where all the teenagers like the same rock bands, international fame is usually minutes away in the digital space. Viral videos are followed by one and all, and so are series and dramas. People catch on quickly, share with their cousins and friends abroad and the cycle continues. So it’s no longer about being in an ungodly country, its more about being in a material city, as opposed to one which has some spiritual grounding I guess.

It makes my soul break into a thousand pieces when I see how carelessly people used words now. I got angry once when a relative told me to not use insane as an adjective for when you want to express how happy or overwhelmed you are. I thought how odd. That’s how we say it now.  But apparently, friends are now bitches, and having good features now equals to having a good ass or having big boobs. The world sure has progressed fast.

13 reasons why starts with a girl, Hannah Baker, who has made it to a list that the boys in her class made. A list marking the best and worst assets of a girl. Hannah makes it to the list under the heading best ass. She feels objectified. When she’s in a supermarket, buying candy for herself a senior grabs her ass calling it tight. She starts bawling her eyes out when she is out of the store. She doesn’t speak with anyone about it, doesn’t share this with anyone.

Then she is dropped home by a colleague at her workplace and starts hearing clicking noises outside her room, which are coming from an introvert boy from her grade who apparently loves her. Loves her enough to take pictures of her, without letting her know, while she’s changing. Since they are stupid teenagers, she mentions this to a girl in class who says we need to lay a trap. Two girls have a make-out session after having a few drinks, and find out who the clicker was. A boy who loves Hannah leaks these photos and everyone in the world now has access to it. (That’s the thing about internet, the thing we didn’t have in our days, everyone has the power to destroy lives in the blink of an eye.) When Hannah confronts him, she takes all the pictures from him. He then has the audacity to ask her out. I mean if there was a worse time, I mean actually there cannot be any worse time to ask such a question.

But this makes you question what exactly youngsters these days think about love. There is no shame in now admitting that someone likes you because of your features. Your features are your only assets and your thoughts and the words coming out of your mouth means nothing. Shallow seems like a shallow word for this case.

This culture is advocated by the authorities at school. When someone is crying out for help, next time try finding that person instead of reading their poem out loud in any class? Even if you don’t know who wrote it, make a conscious decision to look into it? The writer is writing a note that says they are considering being numb. They are saying that they think it would be better to not feel anything at all. Meaning they are overwhelmed. For teenagers, what they are feeling feels permanent. They already think the world is against them and it will never get better. Why are elders being so stupid?

At another point, Sheri comments that it was nice that Clay’s parents are still together. Why is this norm ok to begin with? What sort of society doesn’t work to fix this mess? Well there are many societies with this issue, wanting nuclear families and finding the one true love but why is everyone ok with this being the norm?

Another shocking aspect that is worth bringing up is how parents are so unimaginably detached from their children’s lives. The parents are so engrossed in trying to get through their day to day expenses that they don’t even know if their daughter home. They trust her so much that they go to sleep while telling her its ok for you to go for a walk when they are asleep. I mean you don’t even care, why are you bothering to say that?

Hannah Baker is not even safe from being invisible at home. Indifference can be a harsh thing for youngsters. But what really hit me like a ton of bricks was that it was the opposite at school. Hannah was not invisible at school. She was the brunt of so many jokes in school which makes you want to call her out on her thinking. So messed up. Small things got the ball rolling, then something that didn’t seem like a big deal happened and she said it crushed her spirit. When she was numb already the worst started to happen, she saw her friend being raped. Believe it or not it gets worse.

There are so many themes running through the show, that one time sitting doesn’t even cover it.

Although it’s worth noting that the whole world is so messed up these days. Makes you wonder why anyone would want to bring more kids into this world?

Everything Has Changed

The walls are closing in on me, my cute little studio gets teeth during the day

It feels like I have nowhere to go, I’m down to questioning everything, even my likes and dislikes

Do I like delicious food? Not here. Do I like the raging and calming waves? Not here.

Suddenly out of what I knew about myself, none of the adjectives apply

All the people around me are strangers, everything around me is new

My love for travelling seems so ironic right now, the new sceneries, experiences, photography

Things I loved like meeting new people, experiencing new cultures, trying new food, sleeping on new pillows and using new toothbrushes

Maybe I liked it because I knew it was temporary, knew I will go back home once this is over

Now when I am around the new things, all of the above, I have lost myself

I find my thoughts and actions to be new to me too

I don’t have an identity here, the old one that I had, that told me what I was supposed to be doing at all times

It defined my existence, and told my mind how to react and respond to everything

How does one live without their identity? Do they start from scratch?

What is my role? What does a wife really do? Am I the protector here? I don’t even know this place

What is happening here? Am I a rights campaigner or not?

How do people go on living like this? When nothing is the same? What is constant day in and day out?

Even my mind is not on my side, it keeps throwing new things

It is like an engine constantly generating negative thoughts, wants to keep itself challenged

Not knowing there are enough challenges already. What I need is comfort, and familiarity

How does one know who you are anymore, what if you decide enough is enough?

What will I do when I decide that it is enough? Hah, don’t even have the answer to that. So I’m not even decisive anymore?

So many questions, on top of that so many answers to those questions, which one to pick?

There is so much confusion. What is the purpose of it? What is it that I do here? Where is my path?

Where did the black and white go? I see only grey

Gosh, how does everyone go through this? Then they say, “oh there really is a name for what I went through?”

Why didn’t you talk about it then? If you really went through it? How did you get out of it? Or are you still there?

This emptiness and loss of identity? The abyss, a black hole, a dark place that sucks you into it.

Who can really answer my questions? Why isn’t the answer to my questions with me anymore?