6. I woke up.

By Summaiya Noor Ali

Hello to everybody who isn’t reading my daily diary. It isn’t as daily as I would like it to be but its good. I have found my routine! Yayyy!!! I am in a much much much better place mentally. How did this happen? Well… cry it out. Tell your husband you do not understand what is wrong with you. Cry it out some more. Tell your husband that you have turned into a baby. Needing attention all the time, needing to be pampered by unconditional love till the baby itself decides that they want some space and need to grow some on their own and be… wait for it… independent.

It was a revelation when I realized this. But it wasn’t all me.

Seeing me down in the dumps, my husband recommended Dua e Neim ul Badal. Whoa!

This is a miracle in itself. The story behind it needs to be narrated first. Bibi Salma was a widow, and her husband had died in war. She had a son and was finding it extremely hard to make ends meet. I can only imagine her mind heart and body having a daily battle, losing a husband and having a son to raise and no income from anywhere. She decided to send her son to Rasool e Khuda saww with a message. She conveyed that her life was becoming very difficult to cope with, so if Rasool saww could help her by telling her what to do. He gave her son 3 lines of dua. He told her son to tell his mother to recite this dua as much as possible and watch its miracle take place. Bibi Salma started reciting it daily. And these are no amaal, there is no minimum or maximum limit to the number of times one is supposed to recite it. Within 3 months, she was married to the last Prophet saww of Islam.

Look at how her fate turned because of just a little bit of faith. This dua is considered to be the most powerful dua in Islam. In times of extreme difficulties one must recite it, and watch how quickly He swt helps you overpower your problems. He shows you that the things that you consider mountains are actually just molehills, waiting for him to say “Be,” and “it becomes.” Imagine how tiny we must be to see molehills as mountains. Gosh! Could I love this guy any more?

So I started reciting this dua all the time. After every namaz, and before sleeping. Within half a day I had memorized it. Within one day I had emails and calls of job interviews where I had been shortlisted. A feeling of exhiliartion had overtaken my senses. I could finally feel peace in my heart. After months of feeling overwhelmed, only those who have felt overwhelmed for so long will know how exhausting it can be. And then the feeling of peace when it washes over your heart, you can just feel tears of joy slowly sliding out of the corner of your eyes when you least realize it.

This feeling is so great that I started sharing it with the world. Not the feeling but the dua so that if anyone anywhere is going through a troublesome period I can help them by giving this dua. I shared it on all my whatsapp chats and imagined the world will be at peace. But no! No one has read it or seen it or anything. When I mentioned to friends on one on one chats they would be like ya we saw you share something but didn’t open it yet. And amazingly this was the response that I was getting from each and every individual who was on those group chats. I made it my mission to talk to everyone individually and give them this dua and tell them how ppowerful it is. When I did people thanked me profusely. But before I had individually attacked them, no one had noticed it! :O It was like it hides till someone purposefully seeks it. :O

I think this is it for today. I would like to dedicate this post to Hassan and to this gorgeous most beautiful dua. I hope everyone finds it someday. Especially those who are troubled and wading through rough waters.